un anno dopo
Il 29 aprile 2011 scoprivo che eri in viaggio verso casa nostra. Papà non c'era perchè dormiva a casa dei nonni. Io ho fatto quel test con le mani che tremavano e il cuore in gola. C'è, non c'è, c'è, non c'è, c'è, non c'è, c'è, non c'è… incinta… Quella parola, un tuffo al cuore. Il computer: dov'è il computer. Accendi skype, maritozzo non è collegato, chiamalo sul cellulare, richiamalo perchè ha messo giù scambiandoti per la sveglia, accendi skype: subito.
Il tuo papà si è svegliato il 29 aprile con l'immagine della videocamera fissa su quell' incinta 1-2. Non ci siamo abbracciati forte, non abbiamo pianto. Abbiamo sorriso e ci siamo detti che, sotto i rotoli di ciccia, c'eri tu che ti stavi attaccando forte proprio a dieci anni esatti da quando ci siamo messi insieme. Quella sera ho avuto delle perdite e abbiamo pensato che te ne stessi andando subito dopo averci salutati. Invece, cocciuto e testardo come un capretto, tu ti sei fatto la tua casetta dentro di me, sei cresciuto, cellula dopo cellula. E poi.. la paranoia perchè non avevo sintomi, seguita a ruota dalla noia dei sintomi. La nausea che passava solo con le patatine del McDonald's; lo schifo per l'acqua; il sonno. Il tuo papà che ti parlava sottovoce, piano piano, perchè io non sentissi le cose che vi dicevate voi due. Le settimane che passavano e festeggiavamo tutti i tuoi complesettimana senza averti mai visto. La mia public defense, che solo a sentire l'odore delle cose che avevamo preparato per l'aperitivo mi mancava il fiato. E poi.. la faccia del tuo papà la prima volta che ti ha visto sullo schermo dell'ecografo il 28 giugno e tu che tiravi testate alla sonda e non stavi fermo un secondo, mandando in crisi l'ostetrica che ne ha chiamata una seconda in aiuto e che ha poi chiamato la terza. Maritozzo, c'è poco da fare: questo qui scapretta come un capretto. Le nostre vacanze alle Cinqueterre e come per magia, la scomparsa della nausea; i primi fruscii, borbottii, colpi; le vacanze in montagna. I tuoi salti nella pancia quando stavamo insieme a guardare le cellule al microscopio; le tue capriole quando era ora di mangiare fame – fame – fame. Il nostro primo Natale qui in Svizzera, da soli noi tre, col nostro alberello e le due gatte come bue e asinello del presepe. Le nostre 39 settimane insieme fino a quel 29 Dicembre.
No, ecco, divago. Il 29 aprile 2011 scoprivamo che c'eri e speravamo che ci saresti stato per sempre. Il giorno dopo si sarebbero sposati gli zii. Quel giorno dovevo andare dalla parrucchiera: taglio – piega – colore… colore?! cosa?! come?! no, assolutamente niente colore per le donne incinte. Optiamo per le meches, che assolutamente non tocchino il cuoio capelluto. Per proteggerti dall'ammoniaca della tintura per capelli o da chissà quale altra diavoleria tossica per un piccolo grumetto di cellule come eri tu in quei giorni, il 29 Aprile 2011 la tua mamma si è fatta le meches: bionde, orrende. Ha passato tutto il 30 Aprile a piangere per le perdite e per quello scempio dei suoi capelli, con buona pace degli zii e del loro matrimonio. Da quel giorno non ha più toccato il colore dei suoi capelli: vorrai mica esporre la creatura ad un rischio chimico inutile durante la gravidanza?! E adesso che allatti, vorrai mica passargli immondizia ammoniacale insieme agli anticorpi con il latte?!
Oggi guardandomi allo specchio penso a quel 29 Aprile. In questo anno, tu sei diventato il bambino bellissimo e di quasi 7 chili che sei; l'attaccatura di quelle meches mi arriva ormai alle orecchie. Ne succedono di cose in un anno. Buon primo anno di noi, capretto!
Bello, bello, bello!!
@MaryF. : grazie!! come stai? ricordo male o anche tu eri in attesa?
Prego!
Wow, che memoria!
Sì, anche noi abbiamo allargato la famiglia…una bimba che presto compirà 18 mesi.
Il tempo corre troppo in fretta!
meraviglia <3 ti seguo. Grazie per esserti palesata, mi piace il tuo blog!
.…
good info!…
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