la nostra casa in campagna

Approfitto del post di maritozzo per un rapido aggiornamento sulla nostra dimora.

Dall'1 Ottobre 2011 abitiamo ufficialmente in un microscopico comune del Gros-De-Vaud. Arrivati in due (e ben presto diventati 3), abbiamo scombussolato drasticamente le percentuali di abitanti stranieri di questo paesino di 370 abitanti, nonchè le statistiche sulle lingue parlate e sulla religione prevalente.
La top-5 dei vantaggi di vivere qui:
- la lavatrice in casa. Finalmente non devo più combattere per usare quella condominiale una volta ogni quindici giorni;
- il fornello e il forno. Con sollievo ho dismesso l'attrezzatura portatile e microscopica che usavo nell'appartamento precedente;
-  il soggiorno e il divano. Ora potremmo stare comodi in divano a guardare la Tv – potremmo se solo il capretto ci desse tregua la sera, ma questo è un altro discorso;
- lo spazio all'aperto e il posto macchina. Guardando fuori di casa, non vediamo più la discarica sotto il ponte, né gli altri condomìni; non dobbiamo litigare per parcheggiare comodi, ma forse dovremo abituarci a litigare con mucche e cavalli;
- la benevolenza della segretaria comunale. Per la nascita del capretto, abbiamo ricevuto dei fiori dalla Municipalità e la segretaria si è battuta per l'estensione del mio permesso di soggiorno senza trattarmi come un'immigrata puzzona e indesiderata.

La top-5 degli svantaggi di vivere qui:
- la vicina di casa è odiosa. Nelle nostre lunghe giornate a casa, io e il capretto stiamo progettando una guerra a suon di pannoloni sporchi per far dispetto a quell'antipatica della Sig.ra Poulet e al suo gatto malefico che terrorizza Pasticcio;
- l'autobus per portarci alla civiltà passa solo due volte al giorno. Se non si ha la macchina e si vuole spostarsi a metà giornata, restano solo i piedi, le gambe e le ruote della carrozzina;
- maritozzo deve ancora imparare a pronunciare bene il nostro nuovo indirizzo. "Sciomier siss milldiss losann" sono state le prime parole che ha imparato a dire in francese riuscendo a farsi capire al primo colpo dagli autoctoni: ora si deve ricominciare da capo;
- la raccolta della carta è porta-a-porta, ma ha luogo solo una volta ogni mese e mezzo;
- le finestre non hanno balconi – scuri – tapparelle – inferriate… Niente di niente, alla faccia della sicurezza e della privacy. In compenso, la serratura della porta d'ingresso è talmente dura da aprire che manca poco e dovrò ingaggiare un ladro per scassinarmela e farmi entrare in casa mia.

Detto questo, se volete unirvi nella lotta contro la sig.ra Poulet, siete invitati a casa nostra: ora abbiamo finalmente spazio per ospitarvi!


 

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