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Oggi, 22 Marzo 2011, si è tenuta la mia private thesis defense.
Sotto un fuoco di domande amiche (e non), ho opposto la mia strenua resistenza, seppur traballante per via dei tacchi improponibili.
Delle tre (sì, proprio TRE) ore di esame ho ricordi confusi.
In ordine sparso, la voce del presidente che incoraggia i giurati a far tutte le domande del mondo tanto non abbiamo nessuna fretta. Io che, bevendo, mi verso accidentalmente l’acqua giù per la camicia e giù giù giù fino alla pancia, sotto 5 paia di occhi che mi guardano contorcermi per il solletico. I post-it gialli sulle copie della mia tesi, con le domande da farmi e le correzioni da apportare al manoscritto. La voce che mi si incrina quando ringrazio il maritozzo all’ultima slide. Gli occhi del mio capo, impauriti più dei miei. L’ascella bucata del maglione di lana grigia di un giurato. La voce del mio collega che mi vede scendere in laboratorio, si volta verso maritozzo, gli dice “è arrivata, ha finito” e lo manda in avanscoperta. Quegli istanti in cui tutto passa davanti agli occhi e la testa formula il distinto pensiero “ok, questa è l’ultima slide: è la fine di questi anni”. Quell’incredulità che accompagna i bei momenti, quando sembra tutto troppo perfetto per essere vero; ti dissoci, ti guardi da fuori e ti pare impossibile che sia proprio tu, quella con la bacchetta di bambù, in piedi davanti a uno schermo. Quella che è partita da un paesino sperduto nella campagna; quella che ha sempre avuto paura di tutto, tanto da restarne a volte schiacciata; quella che ha preso un treno, un giorno, piangendo di fronte alle lacrime del suo papà sulla banchina della stazione mentre si salutavano; quella che ha seguito le spinte del destino fino ad approdare qui. Quella che nonostante i pianti, nonostante la rabbia, nonostante la frustrazione, nonostante lo sconforto, nonostante il nervosismo, nonostante lo stress, nonostante tutto, si accorge di essersi spinta, ancora una volta, al di là del limite di ciò che credeva possibile.
Un capitolo si sta chiudendo e fra un po’ sarà il momento di andare oltre. Ovunque sia.
Grande Chiara!Tienimi aggiornata sul vostro futuro, penso spesso a voi, a cosa farei al posto vostro…ma sono sicura che, ovunque andrai oltre, farai grandi cose!Ti mando un grossissimo bacio.
@giulia: grazie delle bellissime parole!!! vediamo un po’ dove ci porterà il vento. Per il momento ci godiamo la primavera, le correzioni alla tesi e gli ultimi mesi in lab.. Oggi ho addirittura pulito il bancone… O_O Un bacione!
evviva!
complimenti, congratulazioni, non so bene cosa dica in queste occasioni!!!!
e adesso?
un bacio
e adesso? non lo so… L’importante è vivere il tutto con leggerezza. Inaspettatamente io ci riesco; maritozzo invece non dorme più la notte! O_O Un bacione a te e al triumvirato!
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