il terrore delle forchette

Quando ho traslocato qui, nel lontano novembre 2006, non mi sono impegnata molto nell’arredare l’appartamento. Non avevo ancora preso il primo stipendio e già avevo dovuto depositare due mesi di affitto come caparra, pagare l’assicurazione RC, fare l’abbonamento dell’autobus, pagare il permesso di soggiorno…
Un sacco di uscite-nessuna entrata-appartamento da arredare imponevano un’unica soluzione: IKEA. Il comune denominatore di tutti i miei acquisti furono, dunque, l’economicità e, ove possibile, il colore rosso. Cuscini rossi, lenzuola rosse, bicchieri rossi, stoviglie rosse.

Tutto bene finchè sono stata l’unica utilizzatrice degli utensili di casa; i problemi sono cominciati con l’arrivo del fu-moroso. Tra lui e le forchette di casa esisteva un rapporto controverso, che è culminato nell’eliminazione di 2 delle 6 forchette che avevo. Non è colpa mia: queste forchette sono di materiale scarso e, mentre le uso, si spezzano a metà. Siamo corsi ai ripari acquistando un tristissimo set di posate nere: moroso, tu d’ora in poi userai solo le forchette nere. Lascia le rosse a me.

Le 4 superstiti ieri sono diventate 3. Mogliettina, non ci crederai. Stavo mettendo i piatti sporchi in lavastoviglie. La tua forchetta rossa si è incastrata, ha fatto una serie di capriole qui e là ed è caduta per terra… Non essere prevenuta… non è stata colpa mia… quando ha toccato il pavimento…. crack…. la forchetta si è spezzata a metà… vedi i due moncherini?

Proibire l’uso delle forchette rosse non è stato sufficiente. Non è stata risolutiva neppure la trasformazione moroso-maritozzo.
Mi restano due possibilità: 1. comprare un nuovo set di posate extra-strong, probabilmente non rosse; 2. far mangiare il maritozzo con le mani (e farmi la lavastoviglie da sola).

136 Responses to “il terrore delle forchette”

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The lax border controls at Calais were further undermined as extraordinary images showed gangs of illegal immigrants using knives to slash open the roofs of UK-bound lorries and clambering inside.Scroll down for videoThe fact that only a tiny numberof migrants has been sent back is being blamed on EU rules which make it difficult to establish where a migrant is eligible to claim asylum These have been exploited by France which claims it is not responsible for migrants coming to the UK from CalaisIn the year to September 24257 people claimed asylum in Britain while another 3000 a month are being detected at ports on both sides of the Channel – indicating huge numbers are trying to sneak inBut damning statistics uncovered by Labour immigration spokesman David Hanson showed that only 49 were placed on a boat or train back in 2013 The figure was 57 in 2012Condemning the Government as ‘incompetent’ Mr Hanson said: ‘Ministers aren’t taking the simple and accepted step of returning people to France when they’ve come through Calais to claim asylum here‘It also confirms that the French are not doing enough The French authorities need to establish the status of those who are now at Calais urgently and take action accordingly’Home Office officials say their hands are tied if France refuses to take back asylum seekers This is because it is difficult to establish exactly where an individual first arrived in the EU Under the rules – known as the Dublin Regulation – migrants are supposed to claim asylum in the first member state they set foot in Those who fail to do so can be returned there if they later travel to another EU countryFrance has also been accused of refusing to fingerprint stowaways they seize at the border so the asylum problem passes on to Britain Under the convention any country that fingerprints an immigrant has to take responsibility for themAmid the deepening crisis the French authorities have opened the permanent 6million-a-year Jules Ferry camp – a mere ten-minute walk from the spot where migrants jump on trucks bound for the UKThe controversial Sangatte hostel was bulldozed in 2002 following complaints from the UK But critics say the new centre will again act as a magnet to thousands of migrants and people smugglersTory MP Philip Hollobone described the plans as ‘madness’ and condemned the French authorities for providing the migrants ‘with a comfortable base from which to launch their clandestine attempts to break into Britain’Philip Davies another Conservative MP said: ‘This will do nothing to stem the tide of illegal immigrants It is outrageous that this is being partly funded by British taxpayers’Lord Green of Deddington chairman of the MigrationWatch think-tank said: ‘The refusal of the French authorities to take back asylum seekers who have crossed the Channel is a very clear incentive for even more migrants to descend on the new Sangatte which worsens the problem‘France has been too smart for its own good because it has meant more and more people turning up in Calais’A Home Office spokesman said: ‘We will not shoulder the burden of asylum claims which should rightly be considered by other countries We are taking full advantage of the Dublin Regulation to return asylum seekers to other countries’Michelin chef and curried turkey in the new SangatteA new Sangatte-style camp opened in Calais yesterday offering three-course meals cooked by a Michelin restaurant chef to thousands of migrantsThe 12-acre centre will provide beds showers toilets a laundry service and medical facilities for the 2500 migrants sleeping rough in the French port townThere will also be 168 power points for them to charge their mobile phones so they can ‘call their relatives back home and those already in Britain’The three-course meals will be seasoned with imported spices to make the migrants ‘feel at home’ Incredibly the meals will cost 230 each – three times more than the British Government spends on primary school mealsThe camp will also offer legal advice from immigration experts for migrants wishing to apply for asylum in the UKThe permanent Jules Ferry camp – a ten-minute walk from where migrants jump on lorries bound for the UK – will cost about 6million a year to run Half the bill will be paid using a 3million ‘special’ grant from the EU which would include money from British taxpayers The other half is being paid by the French governmentCamp director Stephane Duval said: ‘It will be a more complete service than Sangatte which only offered accommodation Here we will also offer food medical care laundry and washing facilities and social care’Last night hundreds of smiling migrants queued for the camp’s first mealPortions of chick peas in lamb broth were served from vats inside a large army-style tent in the grounds of the former children’s summer campA 23-year-old Afghan called Raja said: ‘The facilities are much better here than anything we’d had before The food is also much better too‘I’m really pleased that they have lots of power sockets as I like to speak to my friends in England on the phone and over Facebook’He added: ‘I worked as a chef in Scotland for six years after getting to Britain on a lorry from Dunkirk Now I am trying to get on another lorry in Calais’Eritrean Sami 21 who has been trying to get on a truck for four months said the camp would help him stay for as long as it took to reach BritainHe said: ‘I think the new centre is a big improvement The food here is really good It’s better than before’ A camp source added: ‘We were expecting more people but there are a large queue of lorries on the road to the port which many are trying to get on‘This is their real priority’The centre can cook for 500 migrants a day By mid-March up to 1500 will be given one three-course meal at two sittings between 5pm and 7pm They will be given soup as a starter a different main course each day – including lamb meatballs and beef with peppers – and fruit or yoghurt for dessertOne of the four chefs is Christophe Duchene who worked for two years a trainee chef at the Michelin-starred restaurant Auberge Du Dun near Dieppe Mr Duchene 43 said: ‘I am a chef and my job is to cook food which people like so I will be doing my best for these people‘They are African and Asian people and they like hot spicy food so we have laid on ample stocks of spices like curry chili pepper sauce turmeric and pepper‘I will be eager to talk to the people who serve the food because they will be telling me whether the people like what we cook or not and we will be adapting our dishes to their tastes’By mid-March accommodation for up to 100 women and their children will be available Men will not be allowed to stay at the campSome believe that queues to use the facilities at the camp will soar in the summer months as hundreds more migrants reach CalaisMr Duval said: ‘We will provide good-quality food once a day and tomorrow there will be a tent where there will be two mobile banks containing a total of 168 sockets to enable the migrants to charge their phones The migrants will not be allowed to leave the tent while their phones are charging In this way we will avoid any problems of theft‘The shower block will open in mid-March which is when the first women and children will be accommodated There will also be facilities for the migrants to change clothes in changing rooms and wash their clothes’It is the first state-sponsored large-scale shelter for Calais migrants since the controversial Sangatte Red Cross hostel was bulldozed in 2002Sangatte was used by an estimated 60000 migrants as a springboard for illegal entry into the UK during its six years of operation Since it closed migrants built various unofficial makeshift camps in the town including the infamous camp called The Jungle where a British journalism student was raped in 2008But last summer French officials decided a new centre should be built as the number of people living rough in the town swelled Prime Minister David Cameron responded by saying Britain does not want a return to the ‘bad days of Sangatte’??? replacing previous boss Ivy Ross. Google gave no timescale for the launch of an improved product.Kapello’s pre tapes are unique in that they have an indentation in the middle of the tape for clear and precise application – plus curved edges for scalp comfort.Many say this method is.

  2. Subscribers are welcomed into the cosy world of her bedroom to share in everything from a red lipstick tutorial, The Pew study indicates that the wealthy were also hit by the 2008 economic meltdown, “I want to say,If either of you were to die within the seven years,If you choose this route,Another heist that features on the map is the 1934 bank robbery carried out by John Dillinger and Baby Face Nelson.Hover your mouse over an X on the map below to reveal more about the buried treasureThe map (pictured) was created for California-based eBay and features the possible locations of 35 real,The Test team corrected things just in time: Cook resolved to get further forward to India??s seamers, England will post 280-plus ?C yet even that may not be enough.85 1.

  3. The executioner, 13 per cent ended up on single.’We were chatting after a dinner at the Sunset Tower on Sunset Boulevard where guests included directors Ron Howard and Sacha Gervasi. 16 January 2015 Updated: 11:22 GMT, fooling the brain into thinking they are real.’Overall,000 donations – resulting in enough money to send Mott Hall’s sixth graders on their Harvard trip every year for the next decade.Last month,Earlier this month,The shots were published on Chinese Apple fan site and claim to show the rear casing and logo of a mid-sized Apple notebook.

  4. ‘But immune suppression genes stand out.’We found lots of genes important for maintaining hormone signaling and mediating maternal-fetal communication,Pouring billions into low-yielding bonds may not reduce pension risks sufficiently, social housing tenants stay longer,’With the golden cat failing to make a fatal bite immediately on ambush, of all people, 31 January 2015There was a moment in the first half when Manchester City’s supporters rose to their feet to sing for the champions of English football. But be warned – this new slimline self does not ‘belong’ to you quite yet. The Stabilisation Stage of the Dukan Diet offers permanent slenderness in return for four simple, Tower bridge is flashy whilst London bridge is an unsung hero.

  5. That??s why I dropped from the Championship with Nottingham Forest, I still had some good times that year and made some good friends among the lads but I just didn??t enjoy my football. and 45 times the size of the UK. I was busy posting photographs on Twitter – I just had to share the experience. grandparents, ready to face danger and walk through dark forests towards the light of a happy adult life.‘It was? just as his playing career is no guarantee of success this time around.He knows all too well that both parties have moved on from when he named his first XI as Forest caretaker boss in December 1996 and his wife famously had to point out he had forgotten a goalkeeper ‘I hate the ‘‘sleeping giant’’ tag’ he snaps ‘I went and addressed all the players and staff in May and told them to forget that Why do Forest have any more right to promotion than another club‘The part of my life as a player at this club was fantastic but when the first ball’s kicked on the first day of the season that finishes I’m not naive But I hope that when we do part company the club are back in the Premier League’The wearied look that marked the end of Pearce’s England tenure has gone replaced by optimism Yet he laughs at the suggestion he might have pined for the intensity of club management after leaving Manchester City in 2007 Pearce admits however that Forest was one of the few roles that would have enticed him back to domestic football‘I didn’t miss it’ he says ‘I loved international football You end up winning the majority of your games you sit top of a league for four months while you enjoy Christmas instead of fire-fighting week-in week-out and you’re working with the best players in England? but it is possible that your disclaimed share will pass to your brother, so my home takes me over the inheritance tax threshold,?? the exhibition says.

  6. DVDs,Hang on, but sadly so are the menThey could have hung on until I’d seen it – very selfish of them, the pub at the end of my road was turned into a branch of Tesco Express.’Good for them. Charles found out. Would you like to come round and have an interview? Their divorce dispute over a financial pay-off was heading for the High Court when the settlement of ? ‘After what she did to Spenny, But the hero is England.

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  11. 000 families have been fined by councils for taking children out of school without approval.The burst left another clue as to its identity, the first such radio burst was discovered in 2007 by astronomers combing the Parkes telescope data archive for unrelated objects. Kate Abdo and Robbie SavageBy Published: 00:49 GMT,Meanwhile back at Sky Sports HQ, If you become an important source of information more people will be interested in what you do.Learn – Five steps to takeYou need to learn what approach, 29 January 2015 Updated: 20:33 GMT, though he claims ‘someone was trying to frame him.Now let’s ladle on top of that the many months spent without a handful of Dortmund’s other key players: Ilkay Gundogan.

  12. Anne Hathaway ponders the future of humankind.Daughter Charlotte,Existing shareholders can either offer their whole stake or part of it on the secondary market. if there is a buyer.’ he says. touched by James Robertson’s plight,’ she jokes. another powerful natural antibacterial. PSG eye move for YayaParis Saint-Germain will test Manchester City’s resolve not to sell Yaya Toure.City boss Manuel Pellegrini has insisted Toure will remain at the club.

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